Krystal isn’t the first food joint to decide it was okay to slap an egg on something greasy and call it a “hangover burger” and you and I aren’t the last people who are going to sell out to that type of shameless consumer baiting. Goddammit, how do you think I got drunk in the first place? Probably a goddamn Wild Turkey commercial where Matthew Mcconaghey looked cool. I’m a whore for your lies, industry!

What happened just now? I blacked out.

Either way, Krystal is back with their “Hangover Burger” because 2020 is about to end and we’re about to celebrate kicking that vapid life sucking whore to the curb. So, it’s a good time to market hangover food.

According to, the hangover slider carries a beef patty, cheese, onion, bacon, and a fresh-cracked fried egg on a steamed bun. It’s only a buck SIXTY NINE and you know, for as much shit as I talked it looks pretty tasty. It’ll start selling December 28th.

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