NIGHTMARE NUTRIENTS: Major Melon Mountain Dew Zero Review

Halloween-Kills

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Found in the wild. Or uh, Kroger Grocery Store. When the heck did Mountain Dew come out with a watermelon flavor? AND it’s in Mountain Dew Zero form? It’s as if the soda pop Gods knew today was going to be a trying day. As you can tell from my computer screen in the background of this picture.

Anyways, on to the things that give us joy. Green. No, pink soda pop that is best eaten with Doritos whilst playing video games feverishly. Each are a treasure in their own right but mixed together it’s like bliss on earth.

Mountain Dew’s newest flavor MAJOR MELON sounds like it should have that guy from Harold and Kumar screaming “EXTREME!!!!” afterwards and I like that. Never change, Mountain Dew. Stay tubular.

The can is fun with a team of gnarly 90’s watermelon’s w Gene Simmons tongue. One’s wearing an watermelon army helmet. 10/10 on the can, and color presentation when poured. As pictured above.

Taste wise, it’s pretty damn good. I mean it’s exactly and every bit what you would expect Mountain Dew Watermelon to taste like. How do they do it? Mountain Dew’s concoctions are almost ALWAYS delicious whilst simultaneously carrying that trademark Mountain Dew taste.. Like two seperate waves of flavor yet, cohesive in nature. Almost like everything we’re not this year as a people.

The best part about Major Melon though is definitely that it comes in “Zero” form. I’m not usually able to enjoy Mountain Dew’s coolest concoctions because they only come in full sugary flavor and I can’t drink that shit. It gives me tummy aches. Yeah, I’m an old man. I had a Margarita yesterday and felt like my stomach was being fucked with a light saber for two hours.

Verdict: GET YOU A CASE OF THIS SHIT…..if you like watermelon flavored stuff. It’s not a good replacement for regular Dew because I don’t see myself drinking seven of these a day but it’s super nice for variety and I’m not sure how long it will be around. For more dumb ass articles like this one about food and movies be sure to subscribe to the newsletter below!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcKouaLRT5U

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