• Mike Holtz

FUCK YOUR RESOLUTIONS: Taco Bell's 'NACHOS PARTY PACK' Is Coming December 26th

***Beavis voice*** "NACHOS!"

Taco Bell on December 26th will be making it harder to believe we're going to get thinner in 2020 with the Nachos Party Pack. It's very simple. They are taking a shitload of nachos and selling them for $9.99 a box. This is supposed to be for sharing. But what do you think my drunk ass is going to be doing at 2AM when I order this crunchy buffet of delights to cram into my cramhole, Laffleur? Hot tip. Do not try to eat these shits in an Uber. Save that mess until you get home for the love of back seats everywhere.

National trends expert Patrick Bateman weighed in on the new feature as well:

"Just look at those Baja Blasts. The subtle off green coloring. An awesome wave of relief washes over me as I realize the Taco Bell Nachos Party Pack will be a nationwide release. Looks like I'll have to pump up the crunches to over a thousand now. There is an idea of a skinny me in 2020. Something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze in the mirror of myself and you can shake my hand and not see the cheese residue...I'm simply going to continue to eat like shit."

Oh, by the way we are covering food releases now as well. Be sure to subscribe to the email newsletter below so we can remind you of all the awesome weird shit being concocted in the land of fast food!

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