• Mike Holtz

Michael Myers Framed (Poorly) In Armed Robbery

You think if he wanted to actually start robbing banks, you'd be able to stop Michael Myers? In the words of Dr. Loomis "You don't have....a Police FORCE!!!!!" Not to mention what use does Michael have for money? He eats dogs, wears the same outfit everywhere and his idea of entertainment is staring out of a window for fifteen years.

Two pillars of their community in Las Vegas decided to rob a convenience store pretending to be Michael Myers. In the picture seen below you can see at least one of them are pretending to be the Cult of Thorn version of Michael Myers as they are wearing Trick or Treat studios HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS masks (Photo and story from 8NewsNow).

First off, these two aren't even cosplaying right. These wardrobes are WAY off. Secondly, who the fuck wears knockoff Adidas flip flops to rob someone? You dullard, Michael Myers CHOOSES not to run, he doesn't walk because he poorly chose his footwear. I guess you can't expect much for a guy who wears socks with sandals though. Seriously, who decides to rob a convenience store but can't even be bothered to wear the proper footwear. How lazy can you get? Now that I think about it are these my kids?

Suitor #2 however has decided to wear a different mask along with snakeskin pajama pants. I get that guy #1 has a dark t-shirt on, it's July after all. But what is your excuse to wear a long sleeve shirt and snakeskin pants? I hope they take their winnings and use them to buy some decent overalls. The least you can do is get the costume right. Oh and MICHAEL MYERS doesn't use guns, what's wrong with you. Should have walked in there with a fuckin scythe on some HALLOWEEN V shit.

Anyways, if you recognize these two imposter Michaels, here's their details and who to contact per 8NewsNow-

  • Suspect No. 1: White male adult, 5’09”, weighing about 150 pounds. He was last seen wearing a white Michael Myers mask, black long-sleeve shirt, Arctic camo pants and black shoes.

  • Suspect No. 2: Hispanic male adult, 5’07”, weighing about 180 pounds. He was last seen wearing a white Michael Myers mask, black t-shirt, black shorts, blue and white “slides sandals” and carrying a black backpack.

Contact Metro’s Commercial Robbery Section at 702-828-3591. If you wish to remain anonymous, contact Crime Stoppers at 702-385-5555 or on their website.

Good luck fellas, if I could give the police one tip being someone who's spent a lot of time in a Michael Myers mask? I would tell them to look for two dudes who smell like condoms.

Speaking of Michael Myers masks check out our WORST MICHAEL MYERS MASKS ever series below to see some AWFUL ones. In the meantime and in the words of Jim Carrey from 'Liar, Liar'...."QUIT BREAKIN' THE LAW ASSHOLE!!!!"

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